The Lazy Pound Cake

You know why they call it a pound cake? They say it’s because you use a pound of all the ingredients, which is uh… you… no. Not really. For example, Martha Stewart uses nine eggs in hers, and that, well… nine eggs?! Are you insane?! (I’m sorry, Martha, but nine eggs is too much). Anyway, I’m going to tell you my mom’s recipe for the classic pound cake, with a lazy twist. I say lazy, but I found it out by being impatient and forgetful and skipping steps. I know… but it’s good, trust me, you’ll thank me later.

First of all, you’ll need the ingredients, which yield two regular cake tins:

4 Eggs (medium or large)

1 cup Soft or Melted Butter

2 cups Sugar

1 tbs. Vanilla Sugar

2 tsp. Baking Powder

1 tsp. Baking Soda

3 cups Flour

1 cup Milk

Like all pound cakes and even certain baking doughs and batters, you have to add the flour and milk, then gradually, sift the flour, add a little milk at a time, then separate the yolks from the egg whites, beat the egg whites into a rigid foam and then combine the two mixtures carefully with a flat spoon from bottom to top slowly… until you die a little inside.

Fuck that. Listen.

Put ALL the ingredients together and mix (with a mixer…) until you get an even, homogeneous batter, which you will then pour into your two baking-paper-lined cake tins, half way, and chuck ‘em in the oven you’ve preheated, no doubt, at 180℃, on the middle tray.

You can check on your babies after about 40 minutes, see how they’re doing.

They’ll turn golden brown, and the top will crack and you have to let them sit until the inside of the crack has browned as well. Then they’re done.

Take the two loaves out and let them cool for five to ten minutes in their trays, then lift them out of their trays by their paper “handles”, and finally, gently remove the paper.

You should let them cool for a bit under a dry cloth if you can control yourself.

And even after cutting a few slices, if you’re that disciplined and won’t eat the whole thing, cover it back with the cloth so it won’t dry up as fast.